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"Honest living, man!"--what Squeegieman kept saying when I first got him "Honestly, what an arsehole." "Well, what did you expect from a man?"--me and Artemis being anti-male "Jupiter Crystal Power, SHUT UP!"--Makoto, trying to silence everyone "Don't slap him. Use a Silence Glaive instead!" "No, don't do that either." "Then what am I supposed to do?" "I don't know. Just don't do that."--me and some of the others in an advice-giving session "Just remember what it was like when you were her age." "Well gee, when I was her age I was a male!"--Thalia and Mark "Flamin' 'eck! What're ye doing?"--Mark getting a little too into the British accent thing "Jim, move your butt or I'll move it for you." "I bet you'd enjoy doing that."--me talking to a guy I work with, and Mark's response "I AM NOT MY PLAY!" "Oh, but you are." "Screw you."--me, then Squeeg, then me "Let's go get the St. John's Wort now..."--Thalia "Dive into the black, drive on the other siiiiide... 'cause we're living in I-re-land, at the start of the millennium. We're living in Ireland, leave your Guinness by the phone. And when you're living in Ireland at the start of the millennium...uh..you're not what you own, you just drink a lot."--what Squeegie came up with, a parody of "What You Own" from Rent "Well, you're having one of two things: your period, or internal bleeding." "Oh, very encouraging." "I have craaaamps..." "It's just psychosomatic." "Yeah, but that doesn't stop it from hurting!"--oookay, in order: Artemis, Oscar, me, Thalia, then me again. "Don't start getting attracted to every person you see, okay?"--Oscar "What about Natalie Portman? She's only 5 years older than me so--" "Won't work." "You know, Angelina Jolie is bi too so maybe--" "Won't work." "Haven't we already established this? Everyone is either fictional, too old, or doesn't swing that way."--me, Squeegie, then me, then Squeegie, and Mark "Ahh. So here we have found a way to blame Christianity for everything bad, yesyes?"--Artemis on one of my weird theories that's a bit complicated and I wouldn't want to explain right now "Enough about you, what about me?"--this isn't a Soulbond, but this is a guy I know who reminds me of Squeegieman and Oscar, combined and personified, and sounds like something Squeegieman would say "Hey, that sign says it's only, like 10 miles to Waterford. Let's walk there!" "Or we could drive to Waterford, I could fall on a sword, and we'd get a similar experience."--Gennie and I "If I didn't know he was gay, I'd say he was flirting with you."--Mimi, speaking of Nigel "It looks like the guy's barfing on the other guy."--Gennie talking about a sculpture/fountain thing we saw in Dublin "And then I realized there are no Native Americans in Ireland." "That's because it's Ireland, blockhead." "Yeah, feck off."--me, then Squeegie, then me "Is that...HEY! That's me! Oh look, aren't I great?" "Yeah, but you can't really tell because the statue has no head."--Artemis seeing a statue of herself in a museum, and then Mark "Hey, Artemis, nice--" "NO! Nonono, that is NOT me. That is the TURKISH Diana, got that?"--Mark and Artemis, on a nude statue of Diana "Yeah, that looks like a moray eel to me, doesn't it, guys?"--Squeegieman (this is a weird in-joke...I said that the song that goes "That's Amore" sounded like it said "That's a moray" as in moray eel. ^^; "I can see the reviews of the play now...'It's a new Dei'."--Oscar talking about my play, Judicium Dei "See, even the grammar-checker says you should get more self-esteem!"--Mimi. What happened was I had written "I think he doesn't like me anyway," but it said to change "doesn't" to "does" for some reason I'm not sure of because I'm not a big grammar nerd. "You stay in my hotel, you abide by my rules." "But it's not really your hotel..." "Yet."--Artemis, then Squeegieman, then Artemis again respectively. We were staying in a hotel called the Hotel Artemis and she got carried away... "Well, Oisin or no Oisin, if I go up any farther I'm going to pass out." "And, ants or no ants, you're going to sit here, right?"--me and Mark (here's the story...Oisin is a guy I like, and we were climbing a mountain and I was following him to enjoy the view (and I don't mean the landscape). I got tired, so I sat down on a rock...which had fire ants, as Mark informed me.) "Either you freeze your butt off in London, or you sweat your butt off in Athens. Tough choice."--Mimi "Ick. This swimsuit makes me look like Pamela Anderson-Lee." "Like that's a bad thing?"--me and Mark while I was trying on bathing suits "Yeah, like he'll just magically appear in your room. Because of COURSE Oisin knows how to Apparate, I mean, doesn't everybody?"--Squeegieman informing me that Oisin is not a psychic Pokemon nor is he a wizard, so he wouldn't just appear out of nowhere. "Don't worry. Even if you do get a tiny raspberry seed embedded in your gums, it’ll eventually dissolve into tiny raspberry seed molecules and go into your bloodstream. Gee, I hope it didn’t have any mould on it…" "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" "Oh great, now look what you've gone and done. We're all going to go deaf!"--Squeegieman, then me, then Oscar (Squeeg was making me worry unnecessarily about my wisdom teeth operation) "That sucks. She/he/it was just starting to grow on me too!" "Guess she/he/it grew on you enough for you to make a site about her/him/it, huh?"--me and Mark on the character that dies at the end of the last Harry Potter book (which is why I kept saying she/he/it because if I'd used the correct pronoun it'd be a hint) "Oh my god! They killed [name of character]! You bastards!"--Squeegieman showing NO sympathy AT ALL about the death in the Harry Potter book An interesting dialogue... Mimi: He liiiiiiikes yoooouuuuuu... Me: He doesn't like me, he has a f*cking girlfriend already! Mark: Well, we don't know if she's his "f*cking" girlfriend or not, but I suppose she could be... Me: I didn't say that, don't put words in my mouth. Mark: I didn't have to put them there, you put them there yourself. I merely messed around with them to make them sound like something different. Me: Well, don't do that either! "At least my clothes don't feel like lethal sandpaper anymore." "Lethal sandpaper...great name for a rock band."--me and Squeegieman "Okay, how stupid can you get? You just took a Nyquil with a can of highly caffeinated Dr. Pepper."--Squeegieman (hey, lay off. I was tired and sick and probably not functioning normally, so gimme a break) "If I go crazy then will you still call me Squeegieman?" "Go crazy? Whaddaya mean GO crazy? You already are."--Squeegieman and Artemis as Squeeg was making some suggestions to Three Doors Down. ^-^ "There should be more slash fics involving Cedric. I mean, him and Oliver Wood. Is it just me, or is there some serious sexual tension between those two?" "Is it just me, or are you seriously cracked?"--me and Mark (yes, I do have a sick mind) "Hehehe...parking lot, parking lot!"--Gennie (er...long story) "Everyone in that play talks as if they're stoned off their face. Sorry, Oscar."--Mark giving his "insightful" commentary of Salome (it's kinda true though, I mean, they go on and on about the MOON and everyone has their own things they see in it...it's weird, especially if you just read the script) "It's closed because no tourists would come out here at this time of year. No sane tourists, anyway, and you guys don't count as sane tourists. Anyone who would wear capris in London at 6 a.m. does NOT qualify as sane."--Squeegieman "Dude, what IS that?" "I believe that's the bay, sir."--Mark looking out the airplane window and Oscar acting like a snobbish butler "Let's do a checklist! Okay, suitcase? Check. Contents of suitcase? Check." "Oh, NO..."--Thalia preparing us for the trip to San Francisco, and our general reaction "We're at the FLITWICK Hotel?"--Gennie (it was actually Pickwick, but hey, honest mistake) "There goes my straight hair." "That's good, though! We're in San Francisco, where nothing and nobody is straight. You and your hair will fit right in!"--Oscar trying to make me feel better about my newly-straightened hair curling up in the rain "So you have no reservations about eating a giant bug? None at all?"--this is how Acacia introduced herself to us, by ruining my lobster dinner. Nice gal. "Look at this! We've elected the MAD Magazine guy!"--Acacia, upon seeing both Newsweek's and Time's covers with a big picture of Bush on the cover (he actually does look like that guy in MAD Magazine...but then, consider the alternative. Gore looks like Spy vs. Spy.) "As some straight people practice sodomy occasionally, gay people I’m sure have been known to practice…uh, straightness?"--Gennie "It all sounded so academic...until you said Utena thought Anshi 'screwed' Touga."--Squeegieman (I was going on for like hours trying to explain to them the symbolism in the Utena movie) "Yo, what's the frequency, Kenneth?"--what Mark has taken to saying lately (he uses it as a greeting, like in the morning as the SBs all sort of...gather...when each one arrives he says this) "Golf claps!"--after seeing Rent (for the third time and definitely not the last) everyone says this all the time ^-^ "Whooooo let the Dubyas out?"--Mark reacting to the Clinton staff stealing all the Ws from the keyboards ^^;;; (go Clinton staff! Best thing you've done the whole administration!) "Who is this guy and what makes him think he can sing?"--Oliver on Steven Tyler "What do you mean, who's Vertical Horizon? Were you guys born yesterday or something?" "Er, yes, as a matter of fact we were..."--Mark to Cedric on his second day here "Wanna bet, pretty boy?" "Twelve galleons, flannel shirt."--me and Cedric trading insults (see, I told you he acts way out of character when he's around us!) "Remember, kiddies: only TRAINED PROFESSIONALS are allowed to stick needles into people's mouths."--Squeegieman "D'ya think anyone should tell her she looks like a complete and utter moron?" "Nahh...let's see how long it takes her to figure that out."--me and Mark in dance class, watching one of the girls dance (I'm such a bitch...) "You made me look like a girl." "You don't look like a girl, you look...bishounen." "Which is Japanese for 'a guy who looks like a girl.'"--Cedric, me, and Squeegieman talking about my drawings "ONLY 78 degrees? Great Gryffindor, you guys are mental."--Oliver is still not used to Arizona yet... "So he has a white car. Wonderful, that really narrows it down considering only, what, half of the cars in Tucson fit that description?"--Oscar "Don't they make a cute couple?" "Couple of what?"--me and Mark talking about Cedric and Oliver (this earned him several good whacks upside the head from Cedric's broom, heheh) "Yeah, they're a nice bunch all right...bunch of looneys..."--Artemis talking about the rest of 'em Cedric: Dude, how long have we been waiting here? Mimi: Since when do you say "dude", Cedric? Cedric: Since you evil people have corrupted my innocent little Hufflepuff mind... Oliver: *snort* (I don't want to discuss exactly -why- Oliver thought that was so funny...) "You just -had- to do that, didn't you?" "Okay, you guys SO goaded me to do that." "Goad? I didn't goad. Were you goading? I didn't see anyone goading."--Squeegieman, me, then Squeegieman again (I forget exactly what they goaded me to do) "Well, aren't WE logical today?"--Squeegieman Thalia: So, how was psychology? Me: Great. Ask Mark what he learned. Mark: I learned about, uh... Mimi: Reaction formation? Mark: Yeah, that. Which is, uh, something I do. Thalia: And what is it? Mark: It's a...formation...that people react to... (Mark demonstrating how well he listened in psychology, or didn't listen, as the case was) "First the door blows shut in her face, then she falls down the stairs...you wouldn't think she was a dancer, would you?"--Squeegieman talking about me "Really, Willow! I mean, it's true that most people get a little conservtive as they get older, but NOT AT FIFTEEN! You're really scaring me here!"--Acacia overreacting to when I said, ya know, maybe the death penalty really _isn't_ such a bad idea and know what, maybe organized religions _aren't_ oppressive and old-fashioned after all. "Oliver, the Muggles are being scary again..."--Cedric "He said my treble jig wasn't good enough and look! Third place! So there!" "BOOYA!" "Okay, Mark, you need to stop doing that."--me and Mark talking about my Irish dance competition, my evil dance teacher, and Mark's tendency to overuse really weird slang. "On Napster guys always assume I'm easy just because my username has the word 'angel' in it." "Next time, tell them you're named after a male transvestite from Rent. That'll scare them away."--me and Squeegeeman (my username, by the way, is angel525600 and yes, I'm named after Angel Dumott-Schunard from Rent. Heh.) "All right, this gives us an incentive to stay on until December!"--Oliver (I was talking about how we're going to take a trip to the Galapagos over Christmas...or were, rather, but it got canceled...and O&C are still here!) "Aye me, I am heart-sick!" "Why, what's wrong?" "I dunno, I just wanted to say that."--Thalia expressing concern over my melodramaticness (?) Mark: Oh yeah, we're having the time of our lives here. Cedric can't get over how amazing the change machine is... Cedric: Hey, leave me alone. You have to admit it's pretty interesting...you put in a piece of paper and a bunch of coins come out! Me: Cedric, that "piece of paper" was a five dollar bill. (whoa, culture shock...^^) "Want me to kick him out too? I have my really good kicking sandals on today too..."--Artemis "Hey, Will. Stop singing depressing songs and pretending they apply to you."--Mimi trying to cheer me up ^-^ Me: So how do I look? Squeegeeman: *sings* Jesus Christ, Superstar... Me: Oh, shut up. Mark: No, this is fun. *gets in on the singing too* Hey JC, JC, you're all right by me... Me: Grr. (the guys tormenting me, as per usual. See, I was wearing white pants and a white shirt and I had my hair down, just like in the musical. Mark said all I needed was the beard and mustache. I think not.) "Willow, let us be reasonable! Let us not be violent towards our scones!"--Mimi, who sounded more like Shakespeare just then Me: @(%*)(@##%#(%(%*#($*#$. Artemis: Willow! Be nice! (me having air rage) "Well, we started out looking for her glasses. Then they turned into her 'goddamn glasses.' Finally she became so frustrated she started looking for her 'fucking glasses.'"--Oscar "I think your internal clock needs to be wound."--Squeegeeman "Yup, they were so made for each other." "Excuse me, what? Did what she said last night completely exit your head? She basically spelled out 'I do not want to sleep with you' in about the bluntest terms possible."--Mimi and I, talking about Sarah (yeah, I admit I had a crush on her for about three seconds...as to why Sarah was saying "I don't want to sleep with you" to me, that's a long story. No, I did not come on to her. Let's save the story for another day, okay?) "Okay, but we're talking about _you_ here. Your idea of romantic is quoting James Joyce at the computer screen."--Squeegeeman doubts that I still have a romantic side... "Oh, that's gross." "It's the Grossmeister." "Gross-a-reno." "Grossissimo." "Grossatollah."--Artemis (I believe) was the first speaker in this little dialogue, followed by a few of the guys doing their imitation of Richmeister (ever see the really old episodes of Saturday Night Live?) "Leave your libido at the door."--Oscar's very wise advice to me for ceili class, where I get to dance with a bunch of cute girls...hee hee, um, okay. "Can I plead the fifth?" "No, you can't plead the fifth, you're British. Now just tell us already."--Oliver and I discussing legal issues (notice how many British Soulbonds I have? And how most of them are male? I just noticed that and it's kind of strange considering I'm not particularly fond of Britain, y'know, their conquering of Ireland kind of had that effect on me...) "Oscar! Don't hug me now! I'm not wearing anything!" "I see. And you'll notice my total lack of interest in your unclothed state."--me and Oscar Song on the radio: And you give yourself away...and you give yourself away...and you give, and you give, and you give yourself away... Me: Oh, I know this song! Which one is it? Mark: It's the one where you give yourself away. (us trying to identify U2 songs) "Oh man, you are TWISTED! And I love you for it!"--Mark...I'm not sure what I said/did that made him think I was twisted, and perhaps it's good that I don't remember "If you're able to make Descartes sound poetic...well, that must take a fair amount of talent."--Oscar on my philosophy essay "Hey...why does everything look all bleached out? Why is the ground all white? Oh...that's snow, isn't it." "'Why is the ground white,' honestly. Have you ever heard anything sadder in your life, Cedric?" "No, I don't believe I have."--me while watching a scene in the HP movie, and Oliver and Cedric commenting on my sheltered Arizonan-ness. "*me whining* But I don't wanna do my paper..." "You see, there it is! That's the Id talking! Fight the Id, Will, FIGHT THE ID!" "You're scary..."--me, Squeegeeman, and Gennie "But then I saw these ladies going back to their car, so I started following them. Actually, they looked kind of nervous..." "Hey, I'd be nervous too if I had a crazed green Saab with a shark fin on the back following me!"--me and Bill talking about finding parking places at the mall during Thanksgiving weekend. As for the shark fin...heh, it's not really a shark fin, it's my Onstar antenna that happens to be shaped like a shark fin. (Onstar is a ripoff, by the way...) "Oh, yeah? Well, if I'm not sick, then why does my forehead feel hot?" "Because you're SITTING NEAR THE HEATER, dumbass!"--me and Mark "What's a Yule Log?" "Something that you throw on Uncle John."--me and Mark figuring out a menu (you know that song, "Throw the Yule Log on Uncle John"? It's FUNNY, dude! Turns out a Yule Log is some kind of cake, and here I thought it would be a real log...well, a cake would hurt much less if someone threw it on you, so that's good. ^-^) "Shoe overbooooooard!"--Squeegeeman freaking everybody out on the cruise ship "Okay, I'm going to stop now, I swear to God." "...says the atheist."--me and Squeegeeman "Hey, that guy looks like Ralph Nader...*gasp* Maybe it IS Ralph Nader!" "If that's Ralph Nader, he just jaywalked."--Acacia and Bill "Yeah, I'd say I definitley say 'dude' way too often." "Well, that's not so bad. I mean, as long as you're not in Psychology of Gender and you say, 'Dude, I'm bisexual and it is, like, SO not an invalid orientation,' I think we'll all be okay."--me and Bill on vocabulary "I'd better stop talking about it in case Steve Kloves reads this and goes, 'Hey, good idea, we should cut all that stuff out!'" "Because of course Steve Kloves wants to hack onto your computer and browse through your personal documents because you are just THAT important."--me having delusions of grandeur and Squeegeeman...um, making them go away. "Come back! Come back to Jamaica!" "...is he okay?" "Theater people are crazy. You know that, you live with one."--the director at the Romeo and Juliet rehearsal, then Artemis, then me. "I love how you all immediately develop your own style of insulting me as soon as you get here. Like Acacia with her 'eating a giant bug' thing, and now here's Bono calling me a harpy...you guys rock!"--me addressing my Soulbonds "Okay, now I'm starting to feel like Chris Matthews. 'Blah...blah...BLAH! Romeo, you're boring and you look like a fetus. Now die already and get off the stage, you pathetic milquetoast of a man!'" "But see, you have to say it like a _Shakespearean_ Chris Matthews! 'Romeo, I find thee exceedingly dull. Now thou must die, thou...thou vile fish-duke!'"--me and Mark, being impatient while waiting to go onstage for curtain call after the final scene of Romeo and Juliet. (fish-duke?) "So then Paris pointed his sword at me...okay, Freud, I _know_ what you're thinking, and if you so much as utter one snerky little syllable about this, I'm gonna bust a cap in your snerky little ass."--me threatening my Freud soulbond, who so far all he does is just sit there and snicker any time anyone says anything that could be remotely interpreted in a...different way. "Help! My knee is gonna fall off!" "Oh, god...will you just LISTEN to yourself, please?"--me and Squeegeeman, who informed me that no, he didn't think it was possible for my knee to fall off. "All the guys in this play, their names end in 'io' or 'eo'. Romeo, Benvolio, Mercutio, Tiberio..." "Yeah, Tybaltio! Balthasario! Gregorio! Sampsonio!"--me talking about Romeo and Juliet, and Gennie getting a little carried away back |