It was your typical day at Ohtori Gakuen: Touga was in the music room “practicing” with Kozue, Wakaba was glomping Utena and nearly making her fall out the window into the garden below, where Saionji and Juri were having a “who can slap Anshi the hardest” contest.  Tsuwabuki was trailing along beside Nanami-tachi and asking if Nanami’s parents could adopt him, and Akio was doing both Shiori and Keiko at once, with Miki timing them.  Yep, just a regular old boring day, all right.
 ZAP!
 Not anymore.
 Suddenly a group of people had been zapped into existence just outside the greenhouse of Ohtori, although whoever zapped them didn’t do a very good job of it.  They ended up in a pile, one on top of the other.  Akio (who was already finished with Shiori and Kanae and hunting around for a new victim) passed by and happened to spot them.
 “Kinky,” he said, observing the group try to get to their feet.
 A girl with chin-length red hair started to stand, herself being on top of the pile up.  “Hey, where is this place?”
 Another girl with short purple hair stood and scratched her head.  “You got me there.”
 The rest of the group was beginning to get up and recover from their fall, among them a girl with insanely curly brown hair, wearing an outfit similar to Utena’s except that the sides of the shirt were white and the shorts black and white.  Upon seeing their surroundings, she started giggling excitedly.  “It worked!  It actually freaking worked!  We’re here, guys!  We’re at Ohtori!”
 “Pardon my ignorance, but where is Ohtori?” a girl with long green hair asked.
 “That’s where I was going to take you guys!” the curly-haired one said.  She looked up at the window where Utena (and Wakaba on her back) was hanging onto the ledge by a few fingers.  “Hiiiiii, Utena-sama!”
 “Are?”  Utena turned around, but this slight movement caused her to lose her grip on the windowsill, and she and Wakaba fell, with Wakaba crying “Wheeee!”
 One of the newly arrived characters, a boy with pale blond hair, ran to catch them as they fell.  He managed this feat, but the weight caused him to topple over, and all three landed on the ground.
 “That was fun!” a dizzy Wakaba said.  “Hey, Utena-sama, can we do that again?”
 “Er, I don’t think so, Wakaba…” Utena turned around to the group, nonplussed.  “Who are you guys?”
 “Good question,” one of the group said.
 “I can explain,” the curly-haired girl in the Utena outfit said, stepping forward.  “I’m Willow, and these are my characters!”
 “Hey,” Utena mused, “you’re wearing my outfit…sort of.”
 “Yeah, I know.”  Willow struck a pose in the Adolescence-Mokushiroku-Utena outfit.  “Isn’t it great?”
 “But what are you doing here?” Utena asked.
 “We came for a visit!” Willow said.  “We’re transfer students, I guess.”
 “Oh!” Wakaba said.  “Then you’ll have to speak to the Dean.”
 “The D-d-dean?” Willow repeated, trembling.  “You don’t mean…”
 “That’s right.”  Akio was back, and he slung an arm around Willow’s shoulder.  “I’m the dean of students.  I’m the one you have to talk to in order to get into Ohtori.”
 Willow squirmed away.  “Oh, go to hell and visit your Uncle Lucifer, why don’t you.”
 “Uncle?” Akio said.  “But I’m Lucifer.  How can I be my own uncle?”
 “Never mind her,” the girl with green hair said.  “Hello, Mr. Dean of Students.  I’m Ferio, this is Sora”—she pointed to a girl with blue hair in pigtails—“Aidan”—the blond boy—“Aoife”—the redheaded girl—“Petra”—the girl with short purple hair—“and Ruari.”—the last girl, with wavy purple hair.  “We’re from Kanto, and we’re here…for a visit, I suppose.”  She indicated Willow, who was now trying to hit on Utena.  “It was her idea.  She thought we’d like it here.”
 “Oh?”  Akio surveyed the group, visualizing some things that can’t be written here lest this be an NC-17 fanfic.  “Well, I could let you in through a trade, of some sorts…”
 “Oh, no you don’t!” Willow said.  “No, I don’t think so.  You are NOT sleeping with my characters!”
 “Yeah,” Petra added.  “Besides, I don’t swing that way.”
 “Uh…yeah!” Ruari said.  “Neither do I.  She’s my girlfriend.”  She clung protectively onto Petra’s arm.
 “Bullshit,” Ferio said.  “I know for a fact that if Petra’s dad were 20 years younger you’d hop in the sack with him the minute you got the opportunity.”
 Ruari blushed, and Petra looked hurt.  “You would?”
 “Er, um…but of course I’d much rather be with you,” Ruari said, saving herself.
 “How about a threesome?” Akio suggested.  “No, foursome.  The three of us and Anshi.  Or better yet, all seven of you, me, and Anshi at once!”
 The group sweatdropped, and Petra got a nosebleed.  “Er…no,” Willow said.  “Isn’t there some other way we can get into Ohtori, just for a day or two?”
 “I’ll think of something,” Akio said, wandering off to find another person to seduce.
 “Well, we got rid of him,” Ferio said.  “For now.”
 “Hey!  A cute girl!”  Petra dashed over to Utena’s side and knelt before her.  “Wanna be my girlfriend?”
 “Er, I’m not sure if I’m allowed to,” Utena said.  “I mean, I’m engaged to Anshi and all…”
 The veins on Wakaba’s forehead were about to pop, but before they did she kicked Petra across the courtyard.  “You can’t have Utena-sama!  She’s mine!  Stay away!”
 “Er…okay,” Petra said, her eyes turning into little spirals.
 “Hey, you!”  Ruari marched angrily up to Utena.  “DON’T try to seduce my girlfriend!”
 “I didn’t, okay?” Utena said defensively.  “She was the one who came onto me!”
 “Whatever,” Willow said.  “So, Utena?  Do you have some free time?  Would you mind showing us around for a while?”
 “Sure, I guess,” Utena replied.
 “But first you all need UNIFORMS!”  It was Akio, back on the scene again and holding up seven very risque pieces of lingerie, and some sort of “male equivalent” for Aidan.  The group facefaulted.
 “THOSE AREN’T THE UNIFORMS, HENTAI!” Willow screamed at him, turning into a big scary demon face in the background.  “I already have one, see?”  She made a point of posing and tossing her hair back in the Adolescence Mokushiroku uniform again.  “Now someone get us the real uniforms, because we are NOT wearing those.”
 “Here ya go!” Wakaba said, piling a big stack of all the Ohtori uniforms ever created into Willow’s arms.  Willow promptly fell over under the weight of about 100 varied outfits: duel uniforms and Rose Bride dresses in different color combinations, several of the traditional girls’ and boys’ school uniforms, movie uniforms for everyone and their cousin-once-removed, and variations of all the aforementioned outfits.  The clothes scattered into a pile, and the Conclavers began picking out different ones they liked, with Wakaba explaining to each what the outfits were for.
 “Interesting,” Ferio said, holding up two different green outfits.
 “Oh, you like those?” Wakaba said.  “That’s Saionji-sama’s regular outfit, and that’s the movie version.  Wanna see his Rose Bride dress?”
 “Er…I’ll pass on that,” Ferio said.  “Anywhere I can try these on?”
 Again Akio somehow materialized on the scene, using his Akio-Radar to detect a suggestive remark opportunity.  “You can try them on right here, baby.  Don’t worry, I won’t look…much.”
 Ferio wasted no time in laying the smack down on the lilac-haired ecchi (no, not Ruari, Akio) and wandered off, muttering, “I’ll find a dressing room by myself, then.”
 “This is nice,” Ruari said, holding up a duel outfit with a maroon top.
 “That’s Shiori’s,” Wakaba said. 
Ruari dropped it as though it was infected with a deadly strain of tropical virus.  “Well, I’m not wearing that then.”
“You all might want to try on one of each,” Utena said, “a duel uniform, a regular uniform, and a Rose Bride dress…you never know when you might need one of those.”
 “Me too?” Aidan said.
 Utena nodded.  “Guys get to be Rose Brides on occasion.”
 Aidan put on a repelled face, but he was secretly pleased.  He’d always wondered what he might look like in a dress.  “Okay, then,” he said, feigning reluctance as he picked up a periwinkle blue Rose Bride dress.
 “Oh, that?” Wakaba butted in again.  “That’s Kozue’s dress.”
 “Oh…okay,” Aidan said, putting it down.  It seems no one wanted to wear the uniforms that had previously belonged to the school sluts.  “How about this one?”
 “Hey!” Utena said, noticing Aidan with the white Rose Bride dress.  “That was mine, actually, although I only wore it once…you can have it if you want.”
 “Okay,” Aidan said, blushing (he was secretly developing a crush on Utena).
 “Ooh, I like this one!” Aoife said of a uniform with coral-colored pants.  “Whose is this, Wakaba?”
 Willow spied Aoife with the uniform, and her eyes would have turned green if they weren’t already.  “JURI-SAMA’S!”  She pounced on Aoife and snatched the outfit.  “Gimme that.  I wanna try that on.”
 “Hey, I saw it first!” Aoife insisted, tugging it away.
 Utena rested her head in her hands.  “Just like shoppers in a department store.”
 “Girls, girls!” Wakaba said, moderating the argument.  “I have a solution.  Aoife can have that one, and Willow can have…this one.”  She presented Juri’s movie uniform to Willow, who forgot all about the TV series uniform that they had been previously quibbling about and pranced off to the dressing rooms.
 Petra was picking over the uniforms with distaste.  “Aren’t there any GOOD purple uniforms?”
 “Yeah,” Ruari chimed in, “uniforms that aren’t also being worn by girls who want to make Hide the Salami into an Olympic event.”
 “I’ll find some for you,” Wakaba said, digging through the pile of uniforms and coming up with a lavender Rose Bride dress and a darker purple version thereof, as well as two duel uniforms in light and dark purple for Ruari and Petra.
 “Guess that’s everyone,” Utena said, leaning against the wall and waiting for the Conclavers to return with their new uniforms.
 
 

 Eventually, after a lot of trying on, poring over uniform selections, and random double entendres from Akio and Touga (they have radar for that kinda stuff), everyone was suited.  Willow had ditched her Utena movie uniform in favor of Juri’s, with Anshi’s movie Rose Bride dress (she had given Juri’s TV series fuku to Aoife, along with a matching dress).  Sora was wearing Miki’s uniform, Aidan had Ruka’s (and Utena’s dress), Petra had a purple version of Utena’s uniform, Ruari had a light purple Miki-ish uniform with darker purple pants, and Ferio wore Saionji’s fuku.
 “You guys look so cool!” Wakaba gushed.
 “I know,” Willow said.  “You guys are so lucky that you get to wear these great uniforms all the time.”
 “Hmph.  I still say you should have worn the uniforms I suggested.”
 Guess who that was.
 “AKIO!” Willow yelled.  “I swear, why do you guys keep popping up all the time!”
 “Popping up?” Akio repeated, raising an eyebrow.
 “Oh, stop making it sound like I said things I didn’t say,” Willow muttered, folding her arms.  “Well, what do you want, anyway?”
 “Hmm…I think I’ll take this one,” he said, sidling up to Aoife.  “Hello there, little one.  Want me to show you the Ends of the World?”
 “Get lost,” Aoife said, stepping on Akio’s toe.  “I’m only eleven, you freak.”
 Akio shrugged.  “Tsuwabuki didn’t mind.”
 Willow sweatdropped.  “Okay, that’s really more than we wanted to know…”
 “Anyway,” the Dean of Students continued, “I’m here to give you an ultimatum.”
 “Oh, crap, I hate ultimatums,” Petra said.
 “Either one of you, or more than one if you wish, comes for a ride in my car by midnight tonight,” Akio said, “or you get expelled from the school.  You have to go back to where you came from…wherever that is.  And it’d be a pity, because you all look so…”
 “NO.”  Willow put her foot down, literally, on Akio’s toes.  “This is harassment, is what it is.  We’re not doing it.”
 “Oh, yes we are,” Akio said.  “By midnight.  I don’t care who, just one…or two…or all.”  He turned to leave, making sure his hair and cape swished perfectly in the wind.  “See ya.”
 “Now wait a minute!” Ferio yelled after him.  “You can’t do this to us!  We’ll report you!”
 “To whom?” Akio called over his shoulder.  “On this campus, I am God.  There’s no higher authority.  Either you do as I say or you go.”
 Ferio stared after him, shaking with rage.  “He…can’t…DO…that…”
 “Guess he can,” Ruari said.  “So maybe we better do what he says, hey?”
 “Ruari, do you understand what he means by ‘going for a ride in his car’?” Willow said.  “Have you ever even SEEN the Akio-car?”
 “He means we have to sleep with him,” Ferio said bluntly.
 “Ehehe…oh,” Ruari said, feeling slightly gobsmacked.  “Yeah.  I knew that.  So!”  She clapped her hands together.  “Who’s going to be the sacrificial lamb?”
 Silence.  And…more silence.
 “No one has to be the sacrificial lamb,” Sora said.  “We just have to figure out a plan…” 
 

Author's Notes
Isn't that crazy?  And yes, it will have a plot eventually.  You really have to have seen Utena a little to get it (I've only seen 14 episodes and the movie, so that should be sufficient).  They are going to duel eventually, and be each others' Rose Brides, and so on...and I've already drawn a few pictures of them in their Utena outfits.  I kinda liked the uniform scene myself.  So, what will become of our heroes?  Will one of them get to see the "Ends of the World", or will they come up with a plan?  And when will they meet the rest of the cast?  Find out next time (yes, there will be a next time).

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