"Will you just blow up right now?"--my cousin Katrina, talking to her stereo
"Where's my brain?  Dad, I'm looking for my brain!  Brain, where are you?"--Katrina, talking about a picture of her brain
"Time to wonder."
"It is?"
"It's time to wonder."
"It's not time to wonder!"--Katrina, talking to the stereo while it was playing "Time" by Lionel Richie (I worry for her sanity...)
"Everyone I know thinks I'm psychotic...except for my friends who live deep inside the earth."--my friend Abbie
"I am what I am, and nothing less than you."--written on Abbie's backpack
"You think she doesn't know about baseball because she's a girl?  Hey, there shouldn't be any racism in this class!"--some guy Brad, in social studies
"So that's why they're called potato chips!  They're made from potatoes!"--Natalie (one of my friends) makes a discovery
"He's got issues."
"He should just deal with it."--the class clowns in math class
"Okay, this can be over now."--Natalie
"What do you mean 'she's gone'?  She was never even there."--Katrina talking to Eric Clapton on the radio whilst he was singing "She's Gone."
"Did you know that if you stay awake for ten days straight you could die?"
"Thanks, I really needed to know that right now."--Abbie, telling me that just as I was about to fall asleep in class
"The music is rap.  It sucks."
"All music is beautiful if you listen to it the right way."
"You just keep telling yourself that, okay?"--Laura and Kari
"Do I literally have rose-colored glasses on or does that girl have pink hair?"--Abbie, looking at a picture of Chibi-Usa
"Why don't we send him a get well card!"
"Yeah, I ought to send you a get real card."--Natalie suggesting I send fan mail to Eric Clapton, and my response
"Why isn't it making a dot? George Billy Bob, you'd better make my dot."--Megan talking to her computer, whom she has named George Billy Bob
"Okay, so here's what we do: we take this convict, and let him loose in the streets!  No, let's thicken the plot a little, let's give him a weapon!  He could hide it anywhere in the street.  But what about the pedestrians?  We'll just block off the roads." --Abbie, talking about a Russian TV show
"I have big sword!  I destroy you!  Oh wait, there other person.  Oh well, I destroy you too!"--Abbie again talking about a really bad Chinese movie.
"Foot as table."--Abbie
"The cards don't know how to grovel."--one of my friends complaining about the actors in Alice and Wonderland
"How many suspensions have we had this year?"
"I lost count around six."
"Yeah, it's amazing we haven't already been expelled."--Natalie and I trying to mess with people's minds (none of that is true, by the way.)
"Okay, I know his name is Funky Dude, but he's getting a little too funky."--Katrina, talking about the story we were making up with her Lego people (don't ask)
"Isn't this something called slavery?  Didn't we have a war about that?"--Natalie responding to some stupid event the school did
"What's your dad's name backwards?"
"Bob."--Natalie and I, trying to figure out what my Jedi name would be
Game: Katrina threw a Pokeball!
Katrina: I did not throw a Pokeball!
Game: All right!  Nidorina was caught!
Katrina: WHAT?!
Game: Do you want to give a nickname to Nidorina?
Katrina: Okay, now I have two Nidorinas.
Game: AAABBBCCC was transferred to Bill's PC!
Katrina: Oh great, it named it AAABBBCCC.
(the above was a dialogue between Katrina and her Pokemon game, which was on the fritz and giving her Pokemon she didn't even want)
"The worst thing that could happen would be if you fell and died, right?"
"No, the worst thing that could happen would be if I died and the last thing I ever heard was a Dundalk man talking to me."--a guy at camp and my friend Clodagh making fun of him
"God says send all the gays to hell.  And of _course_ God loves the gays because he loves everyone!"--Natalie
"No, Wills, a _real_ man.  Repeat after me: Pokemon is just a TV show..."--Abbie informing me that James from Pokemon does not count as a potential marriage prospect
"Willow brought Chinese bombs."--Natalie at her party (I brought some Chinese firecrackers, and Natalie called them bombs for some reason)
"I need to find Jesius, man!"--Natalie's sister (say it aloud, then it sounds funny)
"I thought it was spelled with a P-H at the beginning..."
"You mean, Phycho?"--Clodagh and Maeve (ditto the above, you gotta say it aloud)
"We can't tell you who the father is, all we can tell you is that he's a priest."--Maeve
"Pink foam."--Katrina (er...this was funny at the time.  She was blowing bubbles in raspberry ginger ale.)
"Okay, he stuck his _fork_ in the electric socket..."--Maeve (when she said this she sounded like Chandler; it's one of the ones you have to hear)
"The gases meet, and they don't like each other, so they cause this big explosion."--Maeve explaining the Big Bang Theory
"Click on 'Send Feedback'.  Tell them 'Your thing is shite.'"--Maeve complaining about Geocities
"Don't worry everyone, it's all right, she's saving Pii!"--Katrina at a restaurant with our family after I started yelling that my Japanese Pii card had a drop of water on it and I was frantically wiping it up.  She said this mainly to calm down the other diners, who thought I was yelling about a spider in my soup or something
"Chinga un caballo, cabron.  Tu madre es puta!"--Katrina and I cussing out some Spanish guy we were talking to on the internet (she told me what to say and I translated it.  And if you want to know what that means...well, believe me, you DON'T wanna know).
"Too many ni's."--a guy in Japanese class
"Tanaka-san eats his house."
"Tanaka-san drinks toast."
"Wow, that's a vegetable, isn't it?"--some people making mistakes in Japanese class
"If you're short, then what am I?  Microscopic?"
"No, you're a house elf.  You're Winky.  Now go do the dishes, or it's clothes for you!"--Natalie and I
"You're just a schmoe on a stick."--Katrina
"Who let the schmoes out?"--Katrina (her and her schmoe obsession...)
"Well, excuse me for living, but the graveyard's just too full."--Katrina (this could be a bumper sticker)
"I'm gonna mimic his ass."--Katrina, while she was playing Pokemon Gold.  Oookay, you do that, K-chan....
"Hey, Wonder Boy.  Just dance, okay?  Don't strip, there's not a pole onstage."--Charlene talking to the main guy in Riverdance (he looked like Draco Malfoy in the production we saw.  Seriously!  And then the main girl could have been Pansy Parkinson, heh heh.)
"Okay, what does yao-ya mean?"
"A yaoi store!"
"Um, no."--Charlene and I studying Japanese (yaoya means vegetable store, BTW, which is confusing because yasai is vegetable so you'd think it'd be yasai-ya, right?  And the kanji used to spell it make it look like "eight hundred store"...urgh)
"Takayama-san reads tea."
"Why, is he Professor Trelawney?"--Charlene and I having fun in Japanese again (more explanations...read is "yomimasu" and drink is "nomimasu", so she was getting them confused (which could happen to anyone, I'm sure)
"Sassy little webpage, aren't you?"--Jean, talking to a webpage that corrected the spelling on her search engine query in a not-so-polite way
"Well, we tried to go to the search engine, but it took us to the Jesus Christ Webpage."
"Jean, I think the internet is trying to tell you something."--Jean and Diane
"I think we have to accept God before it'll let us use its search engine."--Jean again (seriously, we tried to go to mamma.com and it took us to this religious site!  'Course, we spelled it with one m instead of two, which we didn't figure out till later)
"Jean, are you corrupting Willow?"--Diane (hah, corrupt me?  I am the Uncorruptable One!  Bwahaha!  Actually, I'm not sure if that's something to be proud of...)
"Yeah, we surveyed an eight-year-old on campus, she was Doogie Howser."--Jean (we were doing a survey on campus for psychology and we ran across a twelve-year-old, not eight, she was exaggerating about that)
Katrina: It's not called an ankle bracelet, it's called an anklet.
Paul: So does that mean you have a brainlet?
Katrina: Hey, I have an idea, how about you shove it up your buttlet?
(Katrina and her dad interacting...this conversation stemmed a new nickname for Katrina (Brainlet), which she hates.  I think it's funny, but she'd get pissed if I called her that)
"Republicans Eat Macaroni.  Random Egg Makers.  Random Earth Muffins."--Brainlet...er, Katrina and I trying to figure out what REM stands for.  Yes, we both know it's Rapid Eye Movement.  And yes, we're both complete nutters.  Hey, it was really late at night and we were barely awake.  It made sense at the time.
"It's all fun and games till someone loses an eye."--Inez's favorite phrase (it sounds funny the way she says it)
"His lack of depth really bugs me.  I mean, sure, he's mysterious, but where does that get us?  It's just like, ooh, here I am sitting around being mysterious."--Alison talking about Trowa
"Duo!  Whee!...okay, that was random."--Sarah the Duo-fangirl, randomly squealing about her "boyfriend" (bah, I say 1x2 all the way but she says no)
"And, um...oh my goodness, yks?  Is that a word?"--Sarah (we found a bible in our hotel room, and it had this one phrase translated into 50 or so different languages. She was trying to read it in Polish...I think it was Polish, anyway.)
"Blah blah blah.  Blah blah."
"Oh really?  I didn't know that.  How enlightening."--some guy and Sarah.  Okay, here's the story, there was this random guy driving around our hotel in a truck labeled "Security All" and announcing stuff out of a megaphone.  We could never understand what he said (it basically sounded like "blah blah blah" to us), and he came every five minutes or so from 8 in the morning till 10 at night.  He needed a life.  Badly.
"Oh, Fuji."--Sarah finding ways to swear without saying the f-word
"And then the lamp goes WHACK."--Sarah.  It's a long story.  Suffice it to say that it involves me, Wufei, a hotel room, and a lamp on the bedside table.  See, you don't want to know.
Me: Lamp.
Yume: Evil.
Me: Whee.
Yume: Random.
Me: Oops.
Yume: Blah blah blah.
Me: *cracking up*
Yume: I win!
(an actual, word-for-word conversation Yume-chan (my nickname for Sarah) and I had.  And the scary thing is that this all made sense to us.)
"Eew, what's that black thing that looks like a bug?"
"It's a SCHNITZELBANK!"--Yume and I (again with my obsession with the word "schnitzelbank")
"The cow is on the cliff.  It’s gonna jump off.  It’s suicidal.  It’s the Heero-cow.  It wants to have one last bit of freedom before it goes to the Great Pasture in the Sky.  It’s gonna go, leap, ‘Wheeeee!’, splash.  Actually, it’d be more like leap, ‘Moooooo!’, splash."--Sarah's musings after seeing a cow on a cliff.  Are you scared yet?  Good, me too.
"Fry fry fry, FRY FRY! *sees everyone looking at me weirdly* Inside joke."
"Indeed.  So inside, in fact, that you're the only one who understands, right?"
"Exactly."--me and Yume (I'm the one who said "fry fry fry")
Yume: We need a bathroom.
Sign across the street that we both happen to spot at the same time: BATHROOM CITY
Yume and I: *both crack up and double over laughing in the parking lot*
(sounds like something out of Father Ted, doesn't it?)
"And this is the Rotting Graveyard of Doom."
"Oh.  How poetic."--me and Yume
"Can someone tell me where my fucking glasses are?"
"Wilow!  Even I don't say that.  I _do_ have standards, you know."
"Really?  I don't."--Sarah and I
"Wahaha.  We have the camera.  Resistance is futile.  All your base are belong to us.  You have no chance to survive make your time."
"You're having too much fun with that camera."--me and Yume with the video camera
"Oh, I know what that is!  It's a...a smellhappy thing!  See, you plug it in and it smells happy!"--Yume discussing a Glade Plugin
"Yeah, it's called Dublin.  Isn't it great?"--Maeve (off Yume's and my reactions to a delivery guy spilling gallons of milk on the sidewalk in Grafton Street and no one bothering to clean it up)
"Before I hit you, any last words?"
"Um, yes...please don't hit me?"--Sarah and Natalie
"Wufei-person!"
"Heero-person!"--Alison's and my way of saying hello...hey, it's a step up from Sarah's "FONDU-CHAAAAAAN! *glomp*"
"She's in love with that freaking word.  'Okay, so I went into my random room and sat on the random bed and listened to some random music.  And then this random guy came in, who randomly happened to be my dad!'  Why can't she just say 'I was in my room and my dad came in'?"--Natalie talking about Yume and her favorite word
"I hope we don't go to war, because then I won't be able to get any more anime!"
"Sarah, you are a psycho and I mean that in the nicest way possible."--Sarah and I
"You're just prejudiced against us, aren't you?  Is it because we're white?"
"Yeah, you know, that must be it."--Megan and this guy in dance class whose name I always forget (who also happens to be white)
"If the devil has just shown up on your doorstep, you don't ask him to play hide and seek with you...do you?"--Natalie, when I summarized the Care Bears Movie 2 for her.  This made me laugh so hard I spit my soda into my chicken curry...yeah, I guess you had to be there.
"There are a few straight people who are smart...unfortunately they're all females."--Jeremiah (who is (as far as I know, anyway) a straight guy)
"He's not little boy cute, he's more like bread mold cute.  Actually, I don't think I'd use the word 'cute' at all when describing him."--Alicia from dance class, talking about Matt (then Megan went and told Matt that Alicia and I said this, even though I didn't _say_ it...well, I did agree with it, so I guess that makes me guilty too *shrug*)
"Oh wait, Matt, I've got an idea!  Spread your legs!"
"Um, okay, WHAT?"--Emily and Matt in ceili class.  I swear I didn't take that out of context, it sounded just as weird when she actually said it.
"I have a hole in my foot.  And it's infected.  I have an infected hole."--Annie and her health problems
"Aww...watch, our emails will turn into song lyrics any day now."--Stephanie on the increasing sappiness of our letters to each other. ^^;;;
"Holy funky monkeys!"--Katrina's reaction when I fell in the river.  Seriously, that's what she said!  Heh...I got that "funky monkey" thing from Natalie, and then I passed it on to Katrina.
"If you hear a voice shouting in a slight Irish accent, that's probably Tom."
"Yeah, especially if the person doing the yelling is short and walks funny."--people from Irish dance class making fun of our teacher...heh, we're evil.
"Welcome to being married."--Steve, a guy on our cruise
"I don't get vegetarians.  They order the vegetarian meal, which usually consists of a stale cracker and a leaf of lettuce, and then they complain that it doesn't taste good."--Steve again (his wife is a vegetarian)
"It's like saying, brag about me, please."--Sarah on asking teachers for recommendations
"The Rambling Pitchfork.  How can a pitchfork ramble?"--Mary on a song that they were playing for our Irish dance show
"You guys are on first?  So are you the turtles, or the crickets?"--Flynn at the same Irish dance show (the first song they were playing was called Tuttle's, and...yeah.  And then after that it was "Crickets Marching Over the Saltbox", which was what Alicia was in. ^-^)
"So I picked up the little turtle and took it to the Indian village, and the Indian lady said..."
"Was this a dream you had, or something?"--Yume telling the story of how she and I found a baby turtle in the middle of the road in Jamestown and rescued it.  Then someone else in class just heard that part of the story and said the latter...yeah, it does kind of sound like a dream, doesn't it, especially the way she was telling it.
"Christopher Johnson is the most generic name.  I might as well be named Pine-Sol."--Chris bemoaning his name
"It's called soap, yo."--Carlos
"Pantomime is when you put pants on a mime."--Michael explaining the concept of pantomime to Natalie
"You're the Dolly Lama."--Michael to Martin, while the latter was attempting to ride a dolly (you know, one of those wheely-things that they use to...uh, move stuff.  Yeah. (I'm so bad at explaining things...)
Dan: But I think you know what the most important part of a man is, huh? (wink wink, nudge nudge)
Me: (snickering) Yeah, I do...
Dan: What?  I was just going to say his feet, because without his feet he couldn't go anywhere...(this still hasn't stopped me from snickering) You're a nut, you know that? (to everyone else in the room) She's a nut.
Mark: (mishearing) She's a nun?
Dan: No, I said she's a nut.
Me: Besides, I couldn't be a nun for one very important reason, you know? (wink wink, nudge nudge)
Dan: Oh my god, you are SICK!
Me: WHAT?  I just meant that I'm not Christian, and that's why I couldn't be a nun...
(and so, I turn Dan's argument right back around on him.  Haha.)
"Rock-a-bye, perennials..."--Michael, as Mandy was rocking her flower basket (a prop from the play, by the way..) back and forth
"I was Horatio once..."
"Weren't we all?"--Maureen's brothers
"That's just comedy gold."--Chris's phrase that I stole from him ^-^
"Optimism is evil."--Jeremiah.  The whole time we were in Boston, he had this thing about saying everything is evil.  Reminds me of Yume and I last year.
"(to Liz, after she just won two huge stuffed animals at the carnival) You're a stud.  I mean, a stud in the female way."
"I wanna be a stud too!"
"Win two of those and you'll qualify as a stud."
"Hey, what about if I just kick you in the balls, then will I qualify?"
"No, then you'll just qualify as abusive."--Cole and me
'You're a pop culture icon!  Get out of here, you sellout!"--Cole to one of our teachers at CalArts after the faculty screening, when he found out that all the twinkies from the dance department had wanted a copy of his film
"Could you move, please?  Your butt is in the way."
"Excuse me, but are you referring to my ghetto booty?"
"Okay then, your ghetto booty is in the way."--Liz, then the random guy from the dance department, then me
"GWROOOOAAAAR!  Loud anzimals!"--Jose trying to scare people.  I swear, that's all he did at CalArts...
"It's a man-eating shark.  It only eats men."
"Oh, no!  That means you and Jose will be in danger!"--Jamie (who is a girl, by the way) and Liz
"Ohana means family...and that means FUCK OFF!"--scary guy at CalArts doing an uncanny impression of Stitch (from Lilo and Stitch)
"Mom, where's Mick Jagger?  He was on my bed a minute ago, and now I can't find him!"--Liz, on my tendency to refer to CDs as the names of the people who created them, hence my tendency to run around the room going, "Moby, where aaaaaare yoooooouuu?" and other such things. ^-^
"What's this dance called?"
"The Cruel and Unusual Reel."--some chick in Irish dance and Alicia
"Well, that's not so bad.  He said I looked like a flamingo crossed with a Yorkshire terrier."--Alicia on our Irish dance teacher (later, said teacher insisted he likes Yorkshire terriers and flamingos, so that was really a compliment.  Uh-huh.  No one's buying that, Tom.)
"*as he pounds on the hood of Eric's car* The piece of crap alarm won't go off."
"Why are you so violent all of a sudden?"
"Who, me? *pound, pound* What *pound* makes you *pound* say *pound* that? *pound pound*"--Mike and William, one day when we were trying to set off Eric's car alarm by pummeling the hood...and it worked, too.  Heh.  Oh, the things actors get up to during our breaks..
 
 
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