"A trash can, you know, for trash?"--my sister
"Just don't put large food objects in the disposal."--Dave, my, uh, ex-brother-in-law (in other words, my sister's ex-husband.  Is that what you'd call it?) (This one was kinda you had to be there, I just thought the term "large food objects" was funny)
"Yeah well, Bob thinks he's a phallic symbol."--my mom
"Oh God."
"Yes, dear?"--me and my dad
"Why do we need a bag, if we're getting drinks?"
"He probably thought we needed the bag for your head."--Mom and Bob interacting
 "She's not mean, she's just honest."--Dave
"You know that place that says it's open 24 hours a day?  It's closed."--Dave
"Don't blink, you'll miss Benson."--Bob on a car trip
"You're just a jerky drone."
"Okay.  Hi, jerky drone, here's your hammer."--Mom talking to Bob, then me talking to Bob
"It's a message from Beyondo."--Mom talking about the funny markings that appeared on our Easter eggs after we dyed them
"And then the priest takes the host and..."
"The host?  Are those the cookie things?"--my mom and I (she thought me calling the body of Christ "cookie things" was really funny)
"Nigel's always been straight with me."--Mom talking about a guy in her class (who is actually not straight, he's gay, which is what makes it funny)
"Yeah, Nigel's the straight man."--me responding to Mom's quote
"Are the noodles aldente?"
"Nope, just enough dente to make them interesting."--me and my dad
"If you see them, do not go."--my dad (this you had to be there for...my mom and I thought this sounded like a Zen mantra, like "wax on, wax off" or something)
"The light stays on until you turn it off."--my mom (another Zen mantra one, which leads me to believe that my parents -are- Zen)
"What's this EFO-088 mean?"
"It means SHUT UP CAMERAMAN!"--Okay, my dad was filming Katrina playing the piano, and he interrupted to ask about EFO-088.  I was watching the video, I wasn't talking to him.
"If you could be a gardening tool, what would you be?"
"A gopher."--my dad's response to an email survey I sent to him
"The prefix 'eu' means good, like 'euphoria'."
"Which means a good phoria."--Mom trying to explain Greek to me
"The Burren is the sort of place, you go there and you're right smack dab in the middle of it and you say 'Ha ha!  Okay, where's the Burren?'"--Mom talking about a place we visited in Co Clare
"Pamela Anderson-Lee got her implants put back in."
"Why, did she miss them?"--Mom and I (Mom thought this was hilarious but I was just, eh) 
"I'm funky, and I'll tell you how."--Mom 
"T'anks a million." 
"Drackala."--my mom and I being our usual weird selves (don't ask about Drackala, it's a weird thing we got from Saturday Night Live) 
"I don't believe that you have to be a good person to see God when you die." 
"Yeah, well, seeing God is overrated."--Mom and I talking about God
"You two are dangerous."--Mom, to Sarah and me (you know Val Kilmer's Saturday Night Live "Iceman" skit?  That's what she was acting like.  Never mind.)
"I think I'll have the beef..."
"What you say!  You get chicken.  All your beef are belong to us.  Take off every steak!  For great justice!"--Mom and I (we were in Ireland and I warned her (in my own weird way) not to eat the beef cos you know, mad cow and junk)
"You've driven a goodly way already."
"Are you Shakespeare?"--Mom and I (she thought this was funny, like it sounded like something out of the Gilmore Girls)
"It shall be a goodly day..."
"Okay, Master Will."--Mom and I being like the Gilmore Girls
"Hey, Katrina, listen to this.  This guy gives lessons to Shaggy."--Uncle Paul on Ronan O Snodaigh (the bodhran-player/main vocalist from Kila) (listen to a Kila song where Ronan sings (I recommend Tine Lasta, Feach, or An Tiomanai) and you'll see what he means)
"He looks like he needs a nap."--Mom watching Roger Daltry capering around the stage on the Concert for NYC, which struck me as funny at the time...I suppose you needed to be there (or maybe I was just tired, I dunno)
"There he goes, he's dead."--Mom overreacting...eh, I dun feel like explaining.  You had to be there.
"Oh, she's cool!  She said Bill has a rhetoric!"--Mom on one of Bil Maher's guests on Politically Incorrect (it was the episode with the four Muslim students...the second one with them)
"Bill!  Stop that!"--Mom yelling at Bill Maher ^-^ We like doing that...but even better, yelling at his conservative guests.
"Once there was a man...named John.  And John became very close to his dog, Jennifer.  But then Jennifer ran away, so John had to get a new dog..."
"Who was much closer to his age."--Katrina and I telling the story of John to our family.  They didn't get it.  In fact, no one got it except for me and her.  Which is probably not a good sign.
"Poor Mercutio...he dies before he gets to sleep in a good bed."--Mom, after I explained to her what a "truckle-bed" was (as in Mercutio: "I'll to my truckle-bed.")
"But in the movie you never get to see Capulet and Montague making up..."
"Or making out."--Mom and me on the Romeo and Juliet movie...actually, she was the one who mentioned Capulet and Montague making out. ^^; Whoa, for once she was the one who made the slashy comment and not me!
"Hey, chocolate has caffeine in it!  If you drink some chocolate milk, it'll wake you up!"
"Yeah, that's a real zingy zinger."--Mom and me when, I swear, I was half asleep.
"So what does he do?  Does he work, does he go to school?"
"I dunno...I never really talked to him, we just sit there poking each other."--Mom and me talking about Matt
"The police officer picked me up when I was _only_ going 55 miles per hour in a 40 zone!"--Mom, the chronic speeder...
 

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