"Guess you come from a long line of losers, Aoife."--Fawn being a brat 

"Okay, if I don't catch a f***ing Kingler this time I'm going to have to dive into the stream and f***ing catch one with my bare hands."--Petra 

"If you don't give us those potions we'll do...uh, we'll do...something really bad!"--Clyde 

"Another one too old for me.  Crud.  Why are there no attractive young females here?  What kind of gym is this?"--Petra 

"[Aoife] turned to the other wall/aquarium and came face to face with a threatening monster with a gaping, fanged mouth.  'Yaaaaaah!' Aoife screamed and hid behind Petra. 
'What?' Petra asked, turning around.  When she saw the leviathan she was unfazed.  “Oh cool, a Gyarados.” 
'Cool?!' Aoife repeated.  'It’s giant!  IT’S GONNA EAT US!' 
'It’s also behind glass,' Petra remarked."--Aoife and Petra in the Cerulean Gym 

"Come in, it's unlocked." 
"Are you sure?  'Cause the door's not moving here..."--Bill and Aoife 

“'Okay.  So, ah, Petra?  What exactly did you do at Raven’s house, huh?  Was there any…' she made a few gestures with her hands.  
'No!' Petra protested.  'No no no no, none of that.'"--Aoife teasing Petra 

"'Maybe we better go soon.' 
'I don't wanna,' Petra said, tunneling back under the covers. 
'Petra, do you know how many people have probably slept on that bed before you?  And what they might have been doing, and what might be on the sheets...'"--Sora trying to get Petra out of bed 

"YES!  In your face, freaky ninja dude!"--one of Aoife's "talking to the video game" moments ^^;;; 

"HEY!  INTRUDERS!  INTRU...zzzzzzzzzz..."--a completely useless Rocket guard at the Game Corner ^-^ 

"Sora couldn’t restrain Petra any longer and she went tearing around the gym, after anything that was human and female (except of course for Aoife and Sora)."--yup, Petra being her typical self 

"Well-preserved? God, Petra, she's not a mummy."--Petra scolding herself 

"Well, you did say do Flamethrower, didn't you?  Be careful what you wish for."--Ninetales' thoughts 

"'I’m sure Ferio has a plan,' Petra said.  'Don’t you?' 
'Hmm.'  Apparently Ferio didn’t."--I just thought that little bit of narration was funny... 

"Might I remind you, Aoife, that _we_ pulled it off, not you.  The whole time _we_ were busting Team Rocket's operation, _you_ were sitting in a cell in the prisoners' bay."--Ferio deflating Aoife's head 

"You were out there staring at that stupid rock like it was God come upon earth."--Ferio 

"Um, Petra?  That's not a restaurant, I don't think..." 
"It's a store.  And it sells evolution stones.  So unless you want a Leaf Stone for lunch, let's go somewhere else."--Aidan and Ferio to Petra 

"Freudian slip."--one of Ferio's favorite phrases 

"Well, what are you standing around for?  GIVE ME SOME CLOTHES!"--Sundance when she first transformed 

Sundance: Oh, and by the way, now that I can talk I can tell you what I think of your..._performance_ as Team Rocket members. 
Clyde: Yes? 
Sundance: I think you're thoroughly... 
Bonnie: Wonderful? 
Clyde: Outstanding? 
Bonnie: Amazing? 
Clyde: Brilliant? 
Sundance: Disgusting. 
Bonnie and Clyde: *facefault* 

"Might I ask what that stuff is?" 
"Yes, you may ask."--Sora and Ruari (who was acting a bit like Xellos in that scene) 

"So you're saying you don't have ANY kiwi juice?"--uhoh, don't piss Ruari off... 

"Erm, Ruari?  He's also 37.  And you're, what, 14?  I think it'd actually be illegal...oh yeah, and he's married.  Obviously."--Petra's reaction when Ruari told her about her crush on Petra's dad ^^; 

"It's called Red Massacre, apparently.  It's not so much political as it is 'shoot everyone who appears in your line of vision.'"--Sora talking about Aoife's video game 

Aoife: *pounding on the video game* YOU STUPID MACHINE!  I was almost to the Chernobyl level when the button stopped working!  ARGH! 
Ferio: Chernobyl?  Um, Aoife?  Maybe you better take a break from that game  before you have some kind of stress reaction, say...rupturing your spleen. 
Aoife: Rupturing my spleen?  Could that really happen? 
Ferio: Why don't you try a different game, like... 
Sora: SLOT MACHINES!  They have slot machines here!  Cool! 
(Aoife, Sora, and Ferio's exchange about video games) 

"Dontcha like how I make Aoife play these violent video games and then she goes on about how using violence to solve problems is a Bad Thing?  And then Ferio starts acting like Lieberman and saying that the games might be a bad influence on Aoife, when she's Little Miss I'm-a-black-belt-and-I-can-and-will-kick-your-arse.  Weird group, this."--me in the author's notes of that episode 

"Hey, what're you doing?  I said I wouldn't...aw, hell, never mind."--a crewmember on the St. Margaret 

"Hey, Ruari!  Wakey-wakey!" 
"What?  Whaddaya want?"--Petra and Ruari 

"Looks like some native islanders have chosen this special spot to fornicate in the bushes."--Ferio 

"Hey Ferio, what does fornicate mean?"--Aoife asking Ferio about the Facts of Life (Ferio seems like the last person you'd ask about that, doesn't she?) 

"Yeah, I bet it'd be really fascinating if you were bitten by [a Ledian]."--Aoife 

"The water doesn't like me.  It's mean."--Sundance 

"Not on my head, Ampharos."--Ferio, after Ruari's Pokemon jumped on her "in a genki manner." ^-^ 

"Ruari, did you remember to take your obsessive-compulsive disorder medicine?"--Ferio 

"Oh yeah, I rock, I'm so brilliant, I rock...hey, where are you guys going?  Wait for meee!"--Ruari 

"Violent whale?  It sounds like the name of a band.  The Violent Whales.  Couldn't you just imagine it?" 
"The Violent Whales, live in concert.  The Violent Whales and their self-titled debut album."--Sora and Ruari being weird 

"Girls, girls, you can get a room once we get to Chartreuse."--Ferio 

"She thinks I’m just an embarrassing burden, basically, and she’s always treated me like one.  So of course I’ve done her a GIGANTIC disservice by bringing you guys here and expecting her to be civil towards you.  Just ignore her, that’s your best bet.  It’s not hard to do either, since she stays holed up in her room a lot of the time."--Ruari on her sister 

"THOSE AREN'T THE UNIFORMS, HENTAI!"--me, in the Ohtori Story 

"Yeah, uniforms that aren't being worn by girls who want to make Hide the Salami into an Olympic event."--Ruari in the Ohtori Story 

Akio: (to Aoife) Hello, little one.  Want me to show you the Ends of the World? 
Aoife: *steps on Akio's foot* Get lost.  I'm only 11, you freak. 
Akio: Tsuwabuki didn't mind. 
Me: Okay, that's really more than we wanted to know... 

"Ruari, do you understand what he means by 'going for a ride in his car'?"  Have you ever even SEEN the Akio-car?"--me, Ohtori Story 

"Oh, you suck."--Ruari losing to Sora at poker (Ruari's a Poker-mon! *ducks from thrown tomatoes*) 

"Who knew they had Taco Bells in Kanto?"--a bit of narration I liked 

"Hello there, children of the sun!"--Cloud, greeting the gang 

"[Petra] can't be on the girls' side [of the hot springs], because she'd enjoy that a little _too_ much..."--Aoife working out the hot springs gender issues 

"Trust me, Saph.  You're a tough act to follow."--Ruari embarrassing Petra 

"I'm the one who's interested in Aidan, so it would be me who'd rather...er, keep him company, if you know what I mean."--Sora, who was very lucky that Aidan didn't hear that 

"On the way there, she passed Room 18, from whence some interesting noises were coming.  'Petra's and Ruari's room.'"--Ferio accidentally hearing something she probably DIDN'T want to hear... 

"I'm going to have to have a few words with that Snorlax..."--Cloud 

"Guys, do you know who that was?" 
"Maeve, Queen of Connaught, the Irish warrior goddess?"--Aidan and Ferio 

"I'm crushed.  You mean another woman has replaced me?  How can life go on."--Ferio 

"Bill has an opening for an assistant, and guess what?" 
"He's hired Chu-Chu?"--Aidan and Aoife 

"I see you're sharing a moment of mutual, er, something."--Ferio 

"Hey, I resemble that remark!" 
"Er, it's 'resent,' Clyde."--Clyde and Bonnie making a, er, Bushian slip? 

"You know who those two remind me of?  Bush and Cheney." 
"And Sundance is Justice Scalia, Clyde's lapdog."--Ruari and Petra acting like my friends and I (we make fun of Bush all the time, although why these girls would be talking about political events almost a hundred years ago, I have no idea) 

"Daughter?  You mean Bonnie...oh man, I really feel sorry for her now." 
"Yeah, 'specially since her mom goes around looking like Katherine Harris." 
"Worse than that.  Katherine Harris at least has the decency not to wear slutty dresses like that."--Sora, Ruari, and Ferio, talking about 21st century politics again (the story takes place in the 22nd century, BTW, which is why their suddenly acquiring my political views is weird.  Actually, Ferio's a Republican.) 

"Now I see why they don't give him many lines."--Aoife on Butch ^-^ 

Aoife: That's so...so... 
Ferio: Despicable. 
Sora: Detestable. 
Ruari: Discriminatory. 
Petra: Disgusting. 
Aoife: That's so MEAN! 
Everyone else: *facefault* 
(this reminds me of the Bonnie/Clyde/Sundance exchange up there ^-^) 

"That was only Koga of the Elite 4, you know, no one important or anything..."--Ferio making a sarcastic comment typical to her character 

"And Brock." 
"I said that already." 
"I know, but he deserves to be mentioned twice."--Ruari taking out her obsessions on Aoife ^^;;; (this is one aspect in which she is truly a self-insertion, heh.) 

"Oh, shove it, will you?"--Ruari to Dr. Yamamoto (you go, girl!) XD 

"Is everyone okay?  What about Phantasmo?  And Team Rocket?  And...DID YOU SAY I'M A GYM LEADER?"--Aoife, a little slow to process the news... 

"Oh.  Great.  So I basically just helped Team Rocket further its activities.  I feel special now."--Aoife 

"You just told that little Nazi she can run your gym while you're away!"--Ruari, still not letting go of her grudge on Fawn 
  
"You are going to look like SUCH a tourist when we get [to the Orange Islands]."--Ferio to Aoife, who in the spirit of the Orange Islands decided to dress in orange. ^^; 
  
"There goes the olive branch..."--Ferio again 
  
"It's kinda hard to think of a guy that way when you and he both have crushes on the same OTHER guy..."--Ruari on Aidan 
  
"Unless...they're having a THREESOME!"--Sora, speculating about Aidan's sex life ^^;;; 
  
"Guys, what _did_ you do last night that made you this tired?"--Ferio to Petra and Ruari ^-^ 
  
"Industrial strength whipped cream."--Ferio 
  
"It'll be very character-building." 
"I have enough character of my own.  I don't need to build no stinkin' character."--Ferio and Aoife 
  
"Then it's one-sided rivalry.  Yeah...that IS pretty depressing..."--Ruari 
  
"You worked together!  How cool is that?" 
"Not very, if you ask me."--Cerise and Aoife
 
"This was the sound of a jealous Ruari whacking her girlfriend with a convenient copy of War and Peace."--part of the narration
 
"It's her way of saying 'I like you, I think you're hot and want to have your babies except that that's biologically impossible.'"--Ferio talking about Petra and her flirtation devices
 
"In a moment Aidan stepped in front of the video camera, dressed in a neat white lab outfit (which Ferio thought made him look like the guy in the “She Blinded Me With Science” video, although she kept these opinions to herself)."--haven't you ever seen that video?  It cracks me up, man.  "SCIENCE!" XD
 
"Wait a sec...did Aidan...actually _wink_ at us?"--Sora notices Aidan's somewhat un-Aidan-like behavior
 
"It's not gonna rain."
"How do YOU know?"
"Because I have good anti-rain karma."
"Ahh.  So was it this great anti-rain karma that caused your Coral Eye badge match to get rained out, or what?"
"You're just not sensitive to my karmic vibrations, Ferio."--a "spiritual dialogue" between Aoife and Ferio
 
"Morning, sunshine."--Ermynne to Aoife as she was waking up (now that must suck for Aoife, waking up next to her rival...)
 
"Hey!  Guys, now I know where we are!  We're on that island where Destiny's Child did their Survivor video!"--um, not quite, Petra
 
"Hi!  I'm Petra Stone, and might I say that you really do have a lovely pair of--"
"PETRA!"
"What?  I was just going to say eyes..."--Ruari being righteously infuriated as Petra hit on Cinzia...uh-huh, Petra, suuuuure you were just going to say eyes, riiiiiiight...
 
"Is she crazy?"
"That's very likely."--Aoife and Ermynne on Ferio
 
"And I wouldn't be totally opposed to using the handcuffs this time either..."--Ruari.  Take my advice and _don't_ ask.